:: wake up and smell the coffee!! ::

I felt like I’ve been slapped in the face. I met a friend today, fellow graphic designer just like me. I always see him as such a good friend, and today I appreciate him even more. What he said to me suddenly open my eyes: I’m such a silly, spoiled girl. I should stop complaining and being upset all the time with this situation; instead I should fight and do something about it. I think I’ve been spoiled too long. I’ve had it the easy way and now I’m too lazy to do something. I will be brave and make a move. Hopefuly this scary decision is right. It really is a very scary decision that will turn my life upside down. I know I cannot afford another heartbreak, since I’m beginning to find a small spot here; now I have to begin all over again. It is as scary as it is exciting; I hope I made a right decision. Oooh I got the shivers down my spine!!!

:: there's some change in the weather? ::

How do you embrace changes? There are people who welcome changes like they do with long-lost friends: excited, quick nostalgia, wishing to see more of the friends, promised to write each other, keep in touch. And of course, there are people who are so used to certain things, and believe changes will disrupt the harmony of their lives. As for me, I'm a little bit in between. With every changes that come my way, I've mixed feeling. Excited and yet a bit upset, anxious but also deeply worried. The upcoming changes in my life kept me lying awake at night with overlapping thoughts. Silly, I know, as I already stated that it is, indeed, upcoming. They're not here yet, their arrival is not even confirmed yet. I really don't want to be happy on other people's expense. How can you be happy, knowing that absolutely no one is happy on your behalf? Is that the price I shall pay for chasing my own dream? How thin is the line between selfishness and self-worth? Changes should be welcome with an open mind and an open heart, only then you can genuinely be happy. How I hope those around me, who has been so negative with my upcoming changes, will open their mind and heart too. Wishful thinking, as always? :D

.: le cri de mon coeur :.

Je très fatigué de cette façon isolée que j'ai choisie, veuillez trouver me. svp ne pas me laisser partir... me laisser vous aimer jusqu'à la fin du temps. 'quand je vous regarde, je suis à la maison'... i have no idea whether the spelling or grammar was right, but that's just how i felt and i just need to vent. Life... is full of interesting twist and turns. Three days in 2007, and I already felt like an old lady in her midlife crisis moment... The recent twist and turns of my life were not very pleasant, yet they made me learned... and hopefully grow stronger. However, at this moment, I am tired. Very tired. I hope I can find the purpose of what I'm doing sooner than expected. Meanwhile, keep fighting!! Let's kick all those troubles away!

The day that I’ve been dreading is finally here: Max my MacBook is down!!! My friend told me about the battery recall on early edition of MacBookPro, but I’ve been stalling to go to the closest apple store, thinking my battery is just fine. A couple of days ago I was so shocked when the computer suddenly shut off by itself! I restart it again and it worked just fine, so I just thought it was a minor glitch. However, today, while I’m working on a deadline, Max did it again! This time, I haven’t save my project. I literally almost blackout as well, then I checked the Max’ battery. Lo and behold, the battery cover was bent!! It wasn’t like that the night before, I’m very sure of it because I wiped the whole cover right after I turned it off. Aww… I hope Max will be okay! L I’ll take him to the mac guys tomorrow … wish the best for us please… :(